Wanted: New Sugar Sponsor
“Hello, my name is Marie de Haan and it has been 18 days since I last ate sugar.” This is what I would say at a Sugaraholic Anonymous meeting if I were to attend one.
The last time I advertised for a sugar sponsor was back on November 5, 2010. Cathy volunteered for the task but I have not heard from her in a couple of years now. I guess she’s fired.
In re-reading over some of my old blog posts, I realized just how much sugar I eat: Bit-O-Honey, Trader Joe Dark Chocolate Covered Caramels, Milk Duds, Haribo licorice… um… where was I? Oh yes, drooling over sugar… Mentos, Jelly Bellies, Haagen-Dazs… ah, summer… ice cream… Drumsticks… snap out of it…
Hmph. No wonder I got cancer (and fat), eating all that junk.
When I was 14 years old, Dr. Martinez told me to “stop eating sugar” because of the results of the six-hour glucose tolerance test he had just run. He didn’t have to tell me that I couldn’t tolerate it; sugar made me sick whenever I ate it. Years later, in my 20s and 30s, Dr. Joe told me I can’t “eat sugar like regular people” if I ever wanted to lose a single pound. When I turned 42 and received the diagnosis of Stage III breast cancer, Haley–the newest naturopath–warned me over and over again that “cancer feeds on sugar.” Did I listen to any of them? Sporadically. On occasion. When I felt like it. Mostly, ah, no.
Well, since meeting Chatty Cathy, I quit eating sugar cold turkey. The first two weeks were a piece of cake, I mean, carrot… I mean carrot cake. Waaaaa. I want ice cream: Haagen-Dazs Rocky Road, to be exact.
So, if you think you are up to the task of being my sugar sponsor and saving me from myself, email me soon.
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