December 11, 2014 Photo by Jonathan deHaan

December 11, 2014
Photo by Jonathan deHaan

Dear Fran,

I know I just wrote you yesterday.

I can’t believe I forgot to tell you my exciting news. I’ve been working on number one of my bucket list. The kitchen cabinets were installed yesterday and today. I think I am about as close to heaven as a person can be and still be on this earth.

The only downside to all this remodeling is that I have been using the microwave and going to way too many restaurants. The ten pounds that I’ve managed to keep off since February is coming back on in less than a month.

I blame my mother. She has been known to demo a whole box of Nestle Drumstick ice cream cones—while, not in one sitting—certainly, in one day. Here I was doing so great, emulating Tom Hanks and his new way of eating.

After the concert the other night, Ken and I ate pizza (for about the tenth time since this remodel started): The Hawaiian and Papa’s Favorite with pepperoni and mushrooms and olives. Maybe I should just quit all of this bad eating cold turkey. Yum. Turkey. Canadian bacon. Pepperoni. Where was I? Oh yeah… failing miserably at my new healthy way of eating, apparently.

How am I going to go on Ellen with you if I get too fat for my Oprah dress?

Best friends always,