A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer...
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The Marie/Maria Project

May 17, 2013

Marie/Maria Project Update #8

05_17_2013_cancer_funny_sugar_dieting_1I haven’t reported on my Marie/Maria Project for quite a while. I am happy to report that I am pretty much maintaining my weight loss of 20 pounds–give or take two pounds up or down–but, more importantly, I think my schizophrenia might be going away. Then again, in the picture below, I look like I’m not quite convinced I should be eating that maple bar. (Ah, to be young whipper-snappers like Hollie and Michaela and not have to worry about the size of one’s hips.) In the picture on the left, I just plain look excited to eat that silly thing.  05_17_2013_cancer_funny_sugar_dieting_2

I have come to the conclusion that I am done driving myself crazy with this diet. I am going to stay away from sugar for the most part because it just plain isn’t good for me, but if I happen to get my twice-a-year craving for a maple bar, I’m going to run with it and drive to The Donut House in Anacortes with whatever friends I can drag along with me and I’m not going to beat myself up for days over it.

I am going to continue to keep eating tons of fruits, vegetables, salads, nuts, seeds, and sprouts like I have been for the simple fact that I like them. For the rest of it? Life’s too dang short to sweat all these little details.


By |May 2013|The Marie/Maria Project|

March 15, 2013

Sugar Sponsor Story #2

03_15_2013_cancer_funny_sugar“Hi, my name is Marie de Haan and I have fallen off the bandwagon.” This is what I would be forced to say if I actually made it to a Sugar-a-holics Anonymous meeting.

Thirty-four days; that was how long I managed to refrain from eating sugar.

Neither one of my sugar sponsors know yet. I wonder how long I can keep it a secret.


By |March 2013|The Marie/Maria Project|

March 11, 2013

Sugar Sponsor Story #1

My sugar sponsor #1–her n03_11_2013_cancer_funny_sugar_sponsor_oneame is Bobby–and I went out to lunch at Mexico Cafe today and not a moment too soon. For the past week or so, I’ve been very close to throwing in the towel and eating sugar. Lots of it. There are several reasons for this:

1). I just plain old feel like it.
2). Haagen-Dazs Rocky Road ice cream is the bomb.
3). I haven’t lost a single pound in the past 12 days, so I’m beginning to question the validity of my hasty decision.
4). I’m beginning to justify myself by thinking that I don’t have cancer right now so what cancer cells could the sugar actually be feeding?
5). I don’t think my two naturopaths read this blog, so I could get away with it.

It’s been 30 days so far that I’ve been able to stay away from sugar. I keep telling myself if I can hang on a little bit longer, I can finally eat that coconut gelato on the beaches of Maui. I’d like to see someone stop me from that.

By |March 2013|The Marie/Maria Project|

March 4, 2013

Simple Joys of Life #6

03_04_2013_cancer_funny_survivors_guiltI’ve been thoroughly enjoying my time over here in Richland at Adriana’s NWAACC basketball tournament, even though the Haagen-Dazs ice cream is tempting me big time. I’ve been taking the side entrance to the Hampton Inn just to bypass the gift store where the Vanilla Swiss Almond is calling to me at all hours: “Maria, chocolate-covered almonds swimming in vanilla ice creamy goodness… come and get me… you know almonds are good for you.”

I won’t enter the WinCo Foods store down the road, either, because I know that I will end up with a Haagen-Dazs Rocky Road ice cream in my cart because that’s the flavor I really want.

Ken and I have watched two exciting basketball games so far in which Adriana’s team has won by 2 points and by 5 points.

The team celebrated their first win at the Texas Road House. We don’t have this restaurant back home, so I was in heaven when Ken and I ordered the rolls with honey butter, the rib-eye steak, and the snake bites. For Pete’s sake, how much of my life revolves around food?

For those of you who are still stuck on that last paragraph (“Isn’t white bread and honey still sugar? I thought she said in her last couple of posts that she wasn’t eating sugar. She’s a big, fat liar. I wonder what else she’s hiding.”), if I cut out pasta, white flour, and natural sugars, I might as well pack it in now.

I’m taking mental note of these simple joys of life. However, my happiness is marred by one little thing: survivor’s guilt.

Another Skagit Valley College fan and I got to talking yesterday. She told me about her niece, Ruth, who lost her life at the young age of 42 to breast cancer. Why am I still here and she isn’t? Ruth sounded like a wonderful woman.

Then, there’s the mother of Adriana’s classmate who died of cancer at the age of 54.

When Ken and I first started attending Bethany Covenant Church, the staff prayed for four of us in the congregation that struggled with various forms of cancer. One by one, three of the four succumbed to their disease, leaving only me.

I’ve learned not to argue with God. He is, after all, a little bit bigger than me. However, I guess I can work on celebrating every single moment that He continues to grant me on this earth.





March 3, 2013

I Should Be Careful What I Wish For

03_03_2013_cancer_funny_sugarI advertised for a sugar sponsor on February 26 to help me with my little addiction. What was I thinking?

Not only did my old sugar sponsor snap back to attention and start doing her job, a new one also volunteered. Now, I’m getting emails, texts, and comments on my blog at all hours of the day:

“Good for you. Keep it up.”
“How about a delicious sweet orange?”
“How’s the sugar intake or lack thereof going?”

In addition to the unrelenting “pestering” from both sponsors, Ken and I are in eastern Washington for a mini-vacation to attend Adriana’s NWAACC basketball tournament. While Ken checked us into the Hampton Inn, I thought I’d go check out the small gift store. My eyes honed in immediately on the Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond ice cream. Noooooooooooo.

Oh, why didn’t I wait to advertise for a sugar sponsor until next week?

By |March 2013|The Marie/Maria Project|