Interpreting Lab Results
Before my Herceptin infusion this morning, my oncologist, Dr. Hoffman, observed, “Oh, I see you had another echocardiogram done yesterday.” Then, he began to speak German: “It looks like you have mild global left ventricular dysfunction with estimated EF 45-50%, trace mitral and tricuspid regurgitation. When compared to the echo of 1/2010, LV function appears reduced.”
“What… does that… mean… exactly?” I finally asked.
“It means that since January, your heart function has decreased and I am not giving you any more Herceptin until I determine if it’s irreversible or not.”
Ah, English. I felt like responding with my own foreign language: “Ver-skrik‘-lik!” This is another good Dutch word meaning something along the lines of, “Oh, goodness gracious, I’m sick and tired of all this.”
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5 thoughts on “Interpreting Lab Results”
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So sorry you’re faced with another challenge–You may be excused for using expletives in any language: Dutch, Anglo-Saxon, even those weird Blogger word verifications…(the one on this post is “mitersh”, which is surprisingly satisfying when said in a loud voice.)
Wow, just copy some of that down, throw in some “frequency modulations” and you’ll be ready to write the script for the next Star Trek movie. Sorry the English translation didn’t turn out better. We’re always praying for you!
Debbie,
The next time the oncologist reads that kind of stuff to me off a report, I’m going to stand on my chair and say, “MITERSH!!!”
I wonder what he would do?
Pick up an intercom and say, “Would the nearest loony-bin nurse come? When’s the last time this patient had her brain examined?”
-Marie
Abel,
I hope my heart doesn’t keep “modulating” so frequently; next, the doctor will tell me to sit on the couch and take it easy and I’ll have to resort to watching Star Trek for hours on end.
Aren’t there about a hundred movies?!
-Marie
Yes, but there’s always room for one more!