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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

October 3, 2010

Free Inspection

I got mail this week from Nordstrom advising that for the month of October, I could come in for a “complimentary fit consultation.”

The brochure goes on to say “Spirit, vibrancy, and zeal are yours with Amoena.” This is the company that manufactured my “form.” I admit the prosthesis is real looking, but spirit, vibrancy, and zeal?

My brochure would read quite differently: “Wear this prosthesis for more than a few hours at a time and you’ll have a sore back and pain in your shoulder. You won’t be able to change from the black bra to the nude one in a hurry, so make sure you pick your clothes out carefully right off the bat. If you decide to take the bra and heavy prosthesis off, make sure you have a bulky sweatshirt lying next to you in case company drops by unexpectedly. And last, but not least, if it’s freezing outside, wear a coat or people will be on to you that only half your body is cold.”


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6 thoughts on “Free Inspection

  1. Maria, you need to go back and tell the fitter….something is obviously not right…… get it fixed ‘k?

  2. Ria,

    I’m sure the fact that I stopped doing my stretching exercises and still haven’t made an appointment with a physical therapist (hard to fit all the doctors in!) is not helping, either.

    I’m thinking of taking up:
    a) kayaking with a friend
    b) drum lessons
    c) practicing the major scales
    d) calling the physical therapist

    You didn’t have all these problems? You were probably a good girl and did what you were told longer.


  3. nope I didn’t and no I wasn’t a good girl either as far as exercising..however, I was extremely careful and still try to be as to how much to use the arm….I do find that it is not very strong….so when I garden I use the other arm – at least I try to remember :) it’s the pits though…my left arm is now bigger than the right…my other friend warned me about that..she is also a gardener..didn’t take care of her arm and got lymphedema and now has to wear a sleeve all the time. That thought alone makes me careful…gardening in 90 degree weather is brutal enough – if I have to wear a sleeve I’ll probably start raising only cold crops and garden in the winter… :( snow gardens or something

  4. Ria,

    I’m calling the physical therapist tomorrow. Try to squeeze her in between Herceptin infusion and appointment with naturopath Thursday.

    Left-handed gardening will not be for me, so I better get my hiney in!

    Thank you, my conscience! : )


  5. Ria,

    I didn’t know about it. We’re actually going out of town for one night with friends.


    When do you go back across the mountains?


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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan


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