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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

May 4th, 2011

Breast Reconstruction – Take 6

 

Yes, I actually found a picture of a bear with a phone.
Yes, I actually found a picture of a bear with a phone.

Yesterday, everything was going fine on my lone hike to Fragrance Lake: I was on the trail by ten, I was making great time, a fellow hiker out with her friends told me I smelled good (?!). Then, I began to fret about bears.

I had already been a bit leery about hiking by myself. I couldn’t help but think of all those crazy Criminal Minds and Law & Order episodes I’d seen about psycho killers creeping through the woods. I started walking faster. And glancing around furtively. A quarter-mile from the lake, I couldn’t take my fear anymore and turned around.

Later in the afternoon, at the bank, I asked the tellers as nonchalantly as I could, “Say, you think there are bears on Chuckanut Mountain?”

Barb responded, “A customer was telling me about how she was hiking in Sedro-Woolley and a bear scratched her face and swiped at her phone.” Swiped her phone? Maybe he wanted to hitch a ride to my neck of the woods.

After the bank, I saw my old mentor and asked him, “Hey, George, you think there are bears on Chuckanut Mountain?”

He answered, “I would worry more about the other animals.”

Gulp. Other animals? I’m freaked out and being crazy enough as it is. “What kind of animals are we talking about here?” I asked him, feeling a shiver go up my spine.

“Cougars.”

Crap. I’m worried about building enough stamina to get through a breast reconstruction surgery? Stamina won’t matter when I’m dead.

 

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4 thoughts on “Breast Reconstruction – Take 6

  1. LOL! A bear swiped her face and took her phone? Hmmmmmm.

    If you want to take some bear bait, errrr, another hiking companion, feel free to give me a call. :) I’m not quite ready to hike alone just yet.

  2. Yep, I’m with Kimberly. The way to stay safe from bears is to hike with someone you can outrun.

    Seriously, when I was in grad school, I used to hike up to Fragrance Lake all the time by myself, and sit up by the lake and write volumes of florid, self-indulgent poetry. Said poetry has since been burned, so don’t even think about asking. All those hours alone on the trail and at the lake, I never saw anything more menacing than a squirrel. I think you’ll be safe. Or maybe bears just don’t like the taste of bad poets.

  3. Kimberly,

    Looking forward to hiking with you. Don’t count on me to carry on too much of a conversation with you; I’m too busy panting and trying to prevent cardiac arrest.

    The other day when the woman passing me said, “You sure smell good,” I could hardly answer her because I was so short of breath. Embarrassing.

    -Marie

  4. Abel,

    You’re funny!

    Actually, Kimberly and I are going hiking tomorrow. I don’t know if I can outrun her. Probably not.

    That’s what my mentor said… “My friend used to hike all the time. He’s 80 now and he never once saw a dangerous animal.” I think he saw the look of absolute horror on my face when he mentioned the cougar and he thought he better reassure me.

    -Marie

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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan

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