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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

August 15, 2009

Wearing Underwear During Chemotherapy

cancer funny haagen-dazs ice cream nausea chemotherapyOn Wednesday, I woke up at six. I was in a hurry because I had to meet the plumber, Rich, to pick out a new bathtub. Our old one, circa 1955, had some serious issues, along with the rest of the bathroom.

My feet hit the floor, I slammed the alarm off, and I pulled on my underwear. They were abnormally tight. What had happened? Oh yeah, I had eaten three pints of Haagen-Dazs chocolate mint ice cream over the two previous days—it worked wonders for the nausea caused by chemotherapy—but not so much wonders for my hips obviously. Could I really gain 10 pounds that fast or had a smaller pair of underwear sneaked into my lingerie drawer? 

Rich and I picked out the bathtub and I went home again, wishing I could drown my sorrows in some ice cream or a dip in my pretend hot tub. Oops, the ice cream and the bathtub were gone.

It was several hours later when I realized what the problem was. I hadn’t gained any weight, I had put my underwear on sideways.

I don’t know what’s more scary: the fact that they fit sideways (sort of) or that I didn’t notice it for so long.

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6 thoughts on “Wearing Underwear During Chemotherapy

  1. Marie, I’ve done the same thing, only I wouldn’t tell anyone- until now…..just between us and the other 1000 people that read your blog. I wonder what we’ll be like when we are much older?

  2. oh man. i can’t believe you’re putting something like that on the internet. make sure to never mention my name, ok?

  3. Backwards I can see, but sideways? How is that even possible? Never mind, I probably don’t want to know. Let’s just say you’ve got creative clothing skills, and leave it at that!

  4. Being a first grade teacher, I totally understand how one could put underwear on sideways. Happens all the time….Now, if you start come back from the bathroom like one first grade boy did and say, “Wow, I just peed in my eye!”. then I’ll start worrying!

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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan

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