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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

January 20, 2010

Surgery Savvy

VodkaIn the whirlwind of last-minute pre-op appointments (I think there were seven), I have learned a lot about mastectomies and the protocol of said surgery. The thing that stands out most in my mind is what you can eat/drink the night before.

My husband, Ken, and I met with the surgeon, Dr. Williamson, who was set to perform my mastectomy. He explained that I was not to consume anything but clear liquids after 11:00 up until 4:00 in the morning. This meant I could have water, apple juice, tea, or black coffee. No milk, no orange juice.

He sent us over to the surgery center to pre-register. The nurse there advised, “Now, you will be able to have clear liquids until midnight.”

I interrupted her. “Yippee, I get an extra hour. Dr. Williamson said 11:00.”

She ignored me and continued with her instructions. “Nothing after 4:00, okay? You will be here at 7:00 and the surgery will be at 8:00.”

I nodded dumbly. It was really starting to hit me. Several times, I had glibly let those words slide over my tongue without hardly batting an eyelash: “Yeah, chemotherapy for eight months, mastectomy in January….” I tried to keep from hyperventilating.

The nurse turned to me and asked if there were any last minute questions.

I flashed her a tentative smile. I only had one. “So, is Vodka considered a clear liquid?”

 

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2 thoughts on “Surgery Savvy

  1. Marie, first off I hope you have already fallen asleep this evening and have pleasant dreams.

    As you near your next set of hurdles, I believe your faith, family and most of all sense of humor will guide you through the next few days.

    I will be thinking of you and sending many positive vibes from my heart to yours.

    Big hugs, Carol

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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan

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