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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

June 24th, 2013

Glory Be, Hallelujah, and Yippee-Yahooey!

05_24_2013_anniversary_cancer_funny_celebrationWell, I went to my oncologist last week. Like I’ve mentioned before, I was very nervous for this appointment because of some issues I’ve been having.
I sat in Dr. Hoffman’s office while Susie—my friend—sat out in the lobby waiting for me.
The nurse had just left, so I cleaned my purse, wrote down “eight pounds lost in the past six months” in my little notepad, stood up and paced his new office, and sat back down to nervously wait some more.
He finally came in. “Well, Marie, your mammogram test came back okay and your tumor marker test was fine, and—”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “The tumor marker test was fine?” I don’t know why I can’t get it through my thick noggin that I am still alive after all these years and not dead, like I thought I would be.
“Yes, in fact, some of your tumor marker numbers went down.”
“Are you sure?” What am I doing? Calling him a liar?
I can’t believe it. It must be all the sprouts, salad, protein shakes, and pea soup I’ve been eating.
“Tell me about some of these issues that you’ve been having,” he instructed me.
“Well, first of all,” I pointed to my chin, “I’ve had this sore on my face for over a month and it will not heal.”
“Stress doesn’t cause cancer, but it can cause skin problems.”
Next, I told him about the excruciating pain I had been having in my left hand thumb. I was convinced the cancer had spread to my bones.
Dr. Hoffman pointed to his own thumbs. “Arthritis generally starts here and here.”
“So, you’re saying I’m just getting old.”
“Uh… well…”
It’s been almost a week since that appointment. I’ve had a few friends call and email me in a panic, “What’s happening? Are you okay? Haven’t heard the results….”

Sorry to keep everyone hanging, but I was too busy:
a) being treated to a Grilled Club sandwich at Avenue Bread by Susie
b) enjoying Root Beer & Maple Walnut ice cream at Mallard’s with Susie
c) cheering Jonathan on at his basketball games
d) celebrating at Mexico Café with Ken
e) eating Haagen-Dazs Rocky Road ice cream with Ken
f) working out in the flower beds
g) attending a family reunion at my Uncle Sid & Aunt Alice’s house

Hush-a-kree’-ness, that’s a lot of celebrating. And eating. And living life to the fullest.

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8 thoughts on “Glory Be, Hallelujah, and Yippee-Yahooey!

  1. Well, hello there, Jonathan…

    I love you, too.

    When are we going to Mexico Cafe? I should probably cool it, I guess, or those eight pounds lost I mentioned in this blog will come right back on. Enjoy eating whatever you want while you’re still a young whipper-snapper, eh?

    -Marie a.k.a. Mumsy

  2. Cathy,

    I’m happy, too. :)

    I was also happy to read on Facebook that you’re no longer keeping such a vigilant eye on my sugar intake. I really have cut down a lot. Not this past week, of course, but overall, I have. That doesn’t mean that you, me, and Deborah can’t go “get a pint” (of ice cream) to celebrate. Deborah needs a little pick-me-up, that’s for sure. That girl has been through the ringer.

    Talk to you soon.


  3. Ria,

    Amen, sister. I know you can relate to this.

    I wish I could quit “tip-toeing” through life as if I’m always waiting for this impending doom to happen to me. Maybe the long-lasting curse of having been previously diagnosed with cancer… hope it goes away.

    Have a great Fourth with your family.


  4. Hi Marie!

    So glad to hear your good news!!! What a journey you have been on! It kinda reminds me of when I went through my kidney failure years ago, only I wasn’t mature enough to put words to my emotions back then. I just did what I was told and endured treatment and surgery without question. It was probably a good thing that at that age I was unaware of my own mortality. That always makes the journal more challenging.

    Anyway, I am supposed to be in the shower getting ready for my nephew’s baby shower today in Seattle, but I found myself forgetting about time when I started reading chapter one of your book. Love your flow and style of writing. (I will have to blame you if I’m late today! lol!) Thank you for sharing your life with others and allowing your sweet husband to wrap you in a hug when needed. I myself have learned so much more about the value of life and our loved ones because of what I’ve endured. A funny way to receive a blessing, indeed.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday to Ken! (I also left you a facebook message.)

    Have a super weekend and may God bless you by the gazillions!


  5. Hilary,

    You’re so sweet.

    Kidney failure does not sound like a pleasant time, either. That’s why I couldn’t spend too much time feeling sorry for myself while I was going through my cancer treatment. First of all, I was too busy just trying to keep my head above water. Second of all, I’ve come to the conclusion that we all have things in our lives, not just me.

    Were you late for your nephew’s baby shower?!

    I responded to your Facebook message. Let me know if you want me to mail or drop off the book.

    May God bless you as well… I’m sure you’ve been swamped with all that’s been going on in your life.


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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan


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