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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

August 5th, 2009

10 Ways To Stave Off Chemically-Induced Nausea

 

July 11, 2009 I think I am praying for the nausea to go away.
July 11, 2009
I think I am praying for the nausea to go away.

1. Suck on a Dutch (yep, those people know how to do things right) Mento peppermint all night; this way, when you’re done paying for the chemotherapy treatments, you can start on dentist bills.

2. Talk to a doctor about inducing a 10-15 day coma. I’ve seen it done on television.

3. Take a hot bath and pretend you’re sitting in a hot tub somewhere in the Caribbean.

4. Eat lots and lots of frozen blueberries and enjoy them. You’ll probably never eat them again.

5. Eat non-stop (and pretend it tastes good). You can add Weight Watchers to the medical and dental bills.

6. Lay in bed (or on the couch) all day and let your kids run rampant. This way you can worry about them turning into juvenile delinquents rather than how your stomach feels.

7. Drink unsweetened, freshly-squeezed lemon juice and pretend you’re on the beach in the Caribbean sipping a Lemon Drop in a martini glass.

8. Sleep as long as possible and pretend you’re on a hammock in the Caribbean.

9. Let the laundry pile up for days and days and when you finally manage to get one load done, throw a party.

10. Book a trip to the Caribbean.

 

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8 thoughts on “10 Ways To Stave Off Chemically-Induced Nausea

  1. Call me crazy, but I’m sensing a Caribbean theme here…

    I’m deeply sympathetic about your nausea. I was telling Ken on Sunday that I was feeling pretty nauseous for a few hours when I did the Ragnar Relay. That was one of the worst ways I can think of to spend a few hours. I can’t imagine doing it for days on end. Our prayers are with you.

  2. 11. Pretend you’re pregnant and watch your husband’s face turn a whiter shade of pale.

    (My husband would be the one in the medically induced coma if I pulled that one…)

    Channeling thoughts of Lemon Drops your way….

  3. Abel,

    Here’s another (funny) comment you left me and I just don’t remember seeing it. I was probably either in bed sleeping or puking my brains out.

    Obviously, your prayers worked because I’m still here—alive and kicking—four and a half years later. I can’t remember the last time I threw up.

    LIFE IS GOOD.

    Have you done the Ragnar Relay again?

    -Marie

  4. Debbie,

    I never saw this post either which is too bad. It’s really funny.

    Now that you mention it, I just had a dream last night that I WAS pregnant. I remember thinking, “Wow, my youngest is 17; that’s a big spread between babies.”

    Phew, am I glad I woke up.

    Speaking of Lemon Drops, I had one once at Red Lobster (after a meal, I might add, and NOT on an empty stomach)… Ken had to practically carry me out. What can I say? I am a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

    -Marie

  5. AJ,

    Well, maybe when you come home from Australia, we can go to the Caribbean. I hear it’s nice there. :)

    -Marie

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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan

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