Still Suffering Survivor’s Guilt
On March 7 and March 8, I recounted how I was dealing with survivor’s guilt. It doesn’t seem to be going away. In fact, sometimes it seems to be getting worse.
It hasn’t helped that my Aunt Ann was just told that her cancer is back or that Jonathan’s guidance counselor’s wife also suffered a recurrence of breast cancer.
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2009, I was convinced that I would not last the year, that I would not live to see Jonathan grow up to be a fine soccer player, Michael move out on his own, or Adriana flourish to become a fine young woman. That was over four years ago.
I don’t know if my survivor’s guilt will ever go away. I certainly don’t think it’s that unusual for someone like me to have it.
All I know is that I treasure this picture which shows Adriana and I ready to go out and party for her 21st birthday, one that I was privileged to be able to help celebrate.
Mrs. Marie,
I wanted to tell you, that not only do you have a son who is a fantastic soccer player, he is a wonderful guy. I came to their soccer game today only to find out that it had been canceled. (Awkward.) Jonathan was sweet enough to drive me home. You’ve done a good job with him.
Laura,
Thanks so much. Yes, I am pretty happy with that kid. If the worse thing that I have to worry about him is the fact that he keeps eating the candy that I buy as rewards for my piano students (the little brat!!), that’s a pretty good thing.
Your parents did alright, too, Missy. Thanks so much for the coffee mug AND the coffee. It was really sweet (if unnecessary) of you to do that. It looks like you had a wonderful time in Guatemala.
Are you going to the game today? It should be a good one… they’re playing Providence.
-Mrs. Marie