Split Personality

Why is my new idea called the Marie/Maria Project? Because I’m schizophrenic:

Marie: “I can lose 50 pounds in five months.”
Maria: “Who ya kidding? You can’t lose five pounds to save your life.”
Marie: “I’ve consumed 1500 calories per day all week. Be positive.”
Maria: “You still gained four pounds. Why should you bother?”
Marie: “Maybe it was just water retention.”
Maria: “I’m going to eat whatever I want this week.”
Marie: “Oh look, I lost four pounds again… eating crap. What?”
Maria: “I rest my case…”

 

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