Life Survivorship

Last October, I began my third or fourth “nervous breakdown.” I’ve talked about my nervous breakdowns before. Several days ago, I was getting myself all riled up because I was worried that I would start falling down into the pit this year as well. Then, a song came onto the radio; it seemed as if […]

I woke up this morning at 5:30 with the song “No Longer Slaves” running through my mind. First of all, this is a fairly new song and I loved it the first time I heard it. Second of all, I’m playing it this morning in about three hours with the rest of the band at […]

In addition to taking time out to observe beautiful sunsets , I do enjoy the occasional game-playing night. It’s no secret about how much I adore playing games. I had been cleaning house all morning. Around noon, I got a hankering for chicken fettucini alfredo, otherwise known as “Heart Attack On A Plate” in our […]

Speaking of praising the Lord, sometimes, I am stopped dead in my tracks at how beautiful it is outside of my front window. Kind of hard to be depressed, suicidal, and generally down in the dumps when you see a view like this, eh?

The other night, I went out with a bunch of friends and halfway through the night, the thing I noticed the most was how much laughing was going on. All throughout the night, we talked over each other, but we laughed and laughed and laughed. It’s not as if we didn’t talk about sad things, […]

In my last really long, sad diatribe about my two nervous breakdowns, I failed to mention that in the midst of going to the church for help and going to various counselors all over the county, I’ve also had a great set of friends helping me through these difficult times. Today, Tami—I’ve talked about her […]

Eighteen years ago, when I had my first “nervous breakdown”—the words I use to describe my falling apart over recovered memories of sexual abuse—I knew that I needed to find help and I needed to find help fast. I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t perform simple tasks like cook dinner or take care […]

It has been a heck of a few days since writing that last (really hard) letter to my benefactor. I’ve been walking around in a daze, alternating between relief that I could finally put into words what I’ve been feeling all of these years, to slinking around groups of people thinking to myself, “Did I […]