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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

Breast Reconstruction

January 1st, 2019

Dear Fran Drescher #37

Dear Fran, Remember in my last letter to you, I told you about my upcoming nipple surgery? Well, I ended up getting that nipple on October 1—and four other procedures done—and I must say, it was quite the ordeal. First off, I remember counting back from 100 and the next thing I knew, I thought […]

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September 10th, 2018

Dear Fran Drescher #36

Hi Fran, Yes, yes, it’s been a long time. I’ve been super busy with the wackiest things. For example, this was today’s to-do list: 1. Order nipple   Yup. I finally made the plunge (considering the rest of my breast reconstruction was on June 27, 2011 for Pete’s sake) and talked to the plastic surgeon […]

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October 4th, 2016

Dear Fran Drescher #33

Dear Fran, Back on July 27, I wrote you, “By the way, do you see that hill off to the left of my head? The one that I always think looks like two boobies? I was laughing out loud (when I was posting this picture) to myself because I’ve never noticed it before but the […]

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February 19th, 2014

Breast Reconstruction – Take 65

While playing volleyball again following my breast reconstruction several years ago is all fine and dandy, playing volleyball while hyped up on thyroid medicine is another story. I’m not sure how my team puts up with me: “Doug, get it, get it, get it! Whoo-ee, my turn, I got it. Got it, got it, got […]

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February 17th, 2014

Breast Reconstruction – Take 64

Since my breast reconstruction (almost three years ago already), I have been approached by a few women who want to know if they should get a breast reconstruction. That is one loaded question. First of all, it was the most painful thing I’ve ever endured. The six-day hospital stay felt like three weeks. For quite […]

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November 14th, 2012

All I Want For Christmas is… Well…

I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon this morning. I was supposed to see him last November, but typical Maria-fashion, I put it off as long as possible. I tried to avoid this appointment, too, by slithering in to ask his receptionist a week ago if I could get my question answered without having […]

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November 12th, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 63

When we moved into our current home, one of the things we liked about the property was the huge weeping willow in the front yard. Several years after we’d lived here, the local electric company hacked it down because it kept interfering with the power lines. My cousin, Evelyn, zipped over before the chopping, took a […]

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August 1st, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 62

  Yesterday, my mom and I were driving back from one of our housecleaning jobs. “I need to go to the Dutch store up in Lynden,” I said. “I need to get some more soup, Nasi Goreng, and maybe some capucijners. Do you want to come with me?” Ignoring me, she replied, “I need a […]

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April 27th, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 61

I feel like I’ve gone zero to six over these past few years. Anyone who has read my book—or been within five feet of me during one of my rants—knows that I had insurance when I was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer three years ago, but it didn’t do me much good. Hence, the “zero.” […]

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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan
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