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A Humorous Look at the Bright Side of Cancer... and There Is One

Breast Reconstruction

April 27, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 61

I feel like I’ve gone zero to six over these past few years. Anyone who has read my book—or been within five feet of me during one of my rants—knows that I had insurance when I was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer three years ago, but it didn’t do me much good. Hence, the “zero.” […]

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March 6, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 60

Ken and I took Jonathan east of the mountains this past weekend to watch Adriana’s basketball tournament. (Michael stayed home to “watch the house.”) It wasn’t as bad as I thought to put on that bathing suit. I thought to myself, “If people don’t like how I look, they can look at someone else.” At […]

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March 1, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 59

This weekend, I get to put on a bathing suit. I might have cleavage again due to my breast reconstruction surgery last year, but it’s still not going to be pretty. I wonder if I can wear sweats into the pool and hot tub instead.

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February 24, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 58

You know, it might just be me, but I don’t think I’m supposed to be having insomnia anymore. The first time I had it really bad was when the oncologist gave me steroids during chemotherapy. I was done with that over a year ago. After my breast reconstruction surgery, I slept like a baby. Okay, okay, maybe […]

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January 3, 2012

Breast Reconstruction – Take 57

It’s been six and a half months since I’ve had my breast reconstruction surgery, but my prosthesis still keeps traveling all over my bedroom because I don’t know what to do with it. It’s not like I can return it to Nordstrom: “Hey, I’m done with this thing. Can you take it?” Ah. I know. I […]

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November 16, 2011

Breast Reconstruction – Take 56

Yesterday, I made my piano student, Anna, laugh so hard, she fell backwards off the bench. Then again, it’s pretty easy to make 11-year-olds laugh. All you have to do is say the word “boobie.” The word makes little girls giggle and grown men wiggle in embarrassment. Me? I’m just glad that I have two […]

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November 15, 2011

Breast Reconstruction – Take 55

I was playing volleyball last night and the ball hit me really hard in the… well, um… in the right “boob.” I put that word in quotation marks because it’s not real. It looks real and feels real to the outside touch (husband’s a happy camper), but it’s not. It might not have been obvious […]

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October 27, 2011

Breast Reconstruction – Take 54

I think that most people naturally assume that if a woman has breast reconstruction surgery done, it’s because they no longer “feel like a woman” or miss their cleavage. While that was part of it for me, the real reason that I finally elected to do it is because I wasn’t sleeping properly. For over […]

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October 9, 2011

Breast Reconstruction – Take 53

I got a pink envelope this week in the mail. Inside was a brochure from Nordstrom asking, “What’s in your wardrobe?” Apparently, they didn’t get the memo on my breast reconstruction. I think I will call them up and say, “I know one thing that’s not in my wardrobe any more and that’s that big, […]

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Marie de Haan

Marie de Haan
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